Change Does Not A Holiday Equivalate

I have, it would seem, one of the strongest drives for change out of most people I know. Now, I'm not talking about the global kind of "heal the world" change where you write a whole bunch of letters and hope that your one, insignificant voice can do something about a political issue which has probably been going on behind the scenes since before you were cogent...No, I mean change in my own personal bubble.

It may shock some of you, especially those who know me well, but I have a problem with consistency and stability. If things in my life are the same for too long I start to get antsy - antsy as in anxious and depressed. It also seems to "inflame", as it were, any OCD and ADD tendencies that I exhibit.

I've had a few noticeable or major occurrences of this in the past few years, and each time it goes down I tend to need to make a decision that is going to majorly affect my life. There was the time, half-way through my honours year that I decided that I wasn't going anywhere, and that I may as well find a job - my supervisor convinced me to stay on and I ended up with first degree honours.

Then there was the time that I wanted to quit my PhD after 6 months because it was really dead-end stuff (in my eyes) - this time there was nothing anybody could say to dissuade me from my chosen course. So I packed up my life and moved to Sydney, because apparently there's "where it is" in terms of I.T. jobs (and yes, I know that the phrase is technically "where it's at" but I refuse to abuse grammar in such an obvious way.)

After spending another half year in Sydney, I became exceptionally depressed (the worst I have ever been, I believe) and really just could not cope with life, so I made the decision to become self-employed and move back to Bathurst to be around a larger group of my friends, in a smaller (and altogether friendlier) community. The whole "self-employed" schtick lasted about 2 months, until I managed to land a job at the Service Desk, where I currently work.

Of course, I'm perfectly happy with my job - but I've lived in the same place now for almost 5 months (maybe even over 5 months) and it's starting to grow tedious. Characteristics that were charming at first have now become boring and old. There is never enough room to have people over for D&D; the bathroom is just plain weird; I still don't own a lawnmower.

But I'm trying to fix my situation - no-one enjoys a depressive person who also happens to be hyperactive. At first I was just going to clean up the place, break the lease, and move into a larger flat, but there are two problems with that. Problem 1 is that I would then be farther away from Spud's place that I would like - he is currently within my comfortable walking radius, and I don't want to break that. Problem 2 is that Andy won't let me.

So, instead of defying the powers that be (i.e. Andy) and searching for an apartment, I have started the task of rearranging the house I am currently in. This involves (at this stage) swapping the lounge and office around. Whilst this means that the lounge is now somewhat smaller, it hasn't really lost its ability to function as a place where one views media, and is indeed more "homey" than before. It also means that the "Drama Space" (where we hold D&D) is much larger, and could possibly now accommodate a table, which will make people a great deal more focused when we play.

The moral of this story is that moving stuff around the house is more difficult than you would imagine. When I lived on campus at uni it was pretty simple to change my room around when I started feeling "the need", and if it was strong enough then I could always shift the tables and couches around in the common room as well. Now I have to fit things through doorways that shouldn't, by rights, be able to accommodate them (and yet Spud and I managed to somehow get that couch into the new lounge...) Wow - If that's not a metaphor for anal, then I don't know what is...