But Until The Advent Of T-Mail...

Yesterday, during my lunch break, I bought a packet of 5 Flavour Lifesavers. My intention with these little lollies was to suck them until they were so small that they dissolved in my mouth - I figured that each one would take me some time to break down my just saliva and some friction, so they should last me until the end of the day.

Alas, I was wrong. The native instinct inside me to crunch those tiny doughnuts of pure sugar is just too great and I ended up plowing through the entire delicious spectrum of flavour in about an hour and a half, and was left disappointed and candy-less for the rest of the day.

In an effort to curb this munchity munching of my workstation sweets, I today purchased some butterscotch lollies and some crunchy chips, in an effort to convince my brain that the crunch need was satisfied and enjoy the long lasting butterscotch deliciousness - so we shall see how that goes...

On the topic of purchasing things entirely to quell an innate desire within me, I yesterday was forced to realise that Christmas is fast approaching (25 days and counting) and I hadn't put any thought into what I was getting anybody this year. It was only when Lydia asked me what I wanted that I realised I had completed my Christmas shopping by this time last year, and that precious time was being wasted.

Of course, last year I also lived in Sydney, which (I will begrudgingly admit) made Christmas shopping a darn site easier. But then, living in Sydney also made me go bat-poop insane, so the trade off is acceptable, I suppose.

Anyway, I hopped on to Topatoco yesterday, as I had the best gift idea for Spud ever (which, for reasons of Christmas surprise giving-ness, I cannot explain on here...), and while I was on there I decided to pick up a couple of shirts for myself. Of course, picking only three shirts (I didn't want to go overboard) was quite the challenge, and I can see myself spending quite a bit of money there in the future.

After perusing the online store for about two hours, trying to make up my mind (it's difficult for me at the best of times, let alone when money is involved) I placed my order and sat, waiting for my package to arrive. It was then I realised that, not only did some garments need to be created for me (one of the large shirts has a slight delay on it, and even though I'm a portly gentleman, I'm not a US XL) but also that delivery of any item is not instantaneous.

This morning, as I walked to the bus stop, I was lamenting the existence of what I believe could be the E-Mail killer. I call it "T-Mail" and, whilst I'm sure it's been thought of before, I am quite proud of its creation in my mind. With T-Mail, people will revert to writing pen and paper letters for many things, and instead of having to post a letter or parcel over long distances via plane or truck or whatever, we will instead just teleport it there using some kind of awesome teleportation machine.

That, then, has got me to thinking about how much I love receiving things in the mail. There's always this little bit of a thrill that I experience any time I receive a package or letter that isn't a bill. My internal monologue goes all a twitter with anticipation: "A mail item? For me?! How wonderful!! I cannot wait to open it. Right arm, be a good man and get to that, will you..." Well, I'm sure that's how it goes, anyway.

So anyway, I thought I'd just throw it out there that, perhaps, if you're bored one day, you could write me a letter, or send me something in the post. I promise that I will personally respond to every item I receive, and I'll even discuss some of the more interesting submissions on here!

[Redacted Because That Crazy People Use The Internet ^_^"]

I have an internal bet with my sense of pessimism that I'll not get any letters or parcels or drawings or anything - so help me show that smarmy prig who's boss!


The moral of today's story, by the way, is probably that all methods of communication are doomed to be replaced at some point in time, but delicious lollies are forever.