It's Like Being Taught To Dance By Agent Milla Vodello

Before I get right into today's blog, Internet denizens, I must first make two statements - these are pretty important, so bear with me. The first statement of importance is a simple apology - I'm sorry that I wasn't able to make a post yesterday, however I was quite sick and writing something that matches my usual level of coherence was...well...it wasn't going well, let's just say that - it wasn't until about 8pm that I actually started to perk up and regain my usual level of vim.

The second highly important thing that I simply must tell you is so startling, that you may well forcefully (and yet unwillingly) eject any liquids in your mouth at high velocity. So, you know, swallow now. Oh...It's just so hard to say some things...Oh well, here it goes: Mexican jumping beans are the creepiest "foodstuff" of all time. There, I said it. But seriously, why would television tell me that it's okay to eat these things? Given that, in reality, they are just an empty seed in which a moth larva has taken up residency (and they spasm when their temperature changes abruptly, which causes the 'jump') I would think that they are, at the very least, entirely unpleasant to consume...

But anyway, on to the main attraction of today's show! As regular readers of OHH will no doubt be aware, I have recently started a health kick - it's been going strong for just over two weeks now, and I feel really good about the progress I'm making. In my life I swear that I have never eaten as many vegetables as I have since the new year started - and I'm really growing to quite like some of them (although trying new ones, especially in Bathurst, is kind of difficult as we are slightly starved for choice...however I am trying home-stir-fried eggplant today...hmm...) The addition of chillis in increasing degrees of spiciness is also going quite well. As of yesterday (weigh-in Wednesday, don't you know) I have lost 2.8Kg, which is 2.6% of my original body weight.

So, if I'm going so well with this whole "let's not suffer massive coronary problems when I'm forty" plan, then why (you may well ask) am I mentioning it in my blog? Well, it is true that part of being a healthy little meat-sack is eating right - ensuring that my body has all of the vitamins it needs to keep itself going. However there is also the whole (and I am loathe to say this word) exercise thing that has to be done as well, so that my body knows that yes, I do still need those legs and lungs (also, so that I can have wicked abs...abdominal muscles like sections of a Hershey Bar.)

There are many ways in which one could attempt to become physically fit - running, cycling, swimming, going to the gym...the list just goes on and on. Unfortunately for myself, I'm not really at the point where running is a viable option, I hate cycling on the road (I don't feel safe at all), I'm not big on swimming for...reasons, and if I wanted to see a bunch of guys whose heads are too small for their body then I'd go to the circus (at least there I wouldn't feel as if they were constantly judging me...)

To this end I have had to find alternate methods of being "active", as it were. On the short list are: yoga (to increase my flexibility), tai-chi (it's a more effective martial art than you think), bellydancing (which I only put on the list so that I had an excuse to watch people do it - it looks so very cool), and playing expert drums on Rock Band 3 (it's a lot more physical exertion than one would expect). There is, however, one final method that I attempted last night: Zumba.

So, I wanted to let you know about my experiences with the whole "Latin Dance as Exercise" thing that the Zumba people have going on. I initially expected, as I'm sure most people would, that it would just be horrible and stupid and I wouldn't get anything from it at all. I could not have been more wrong. By the end of the half-hour of bouncing around my lounge-room I was sweating, my body was sore, and I had that "good" feeling about myself that I get when I exercise properly. But it was more than that - it was (I will begrudgingly admit) fun. Seriously, I would never have expected just how much fun it was going to be.

I loaded up the routine (it went for an hour, but I only had time for half of it) and stood there, thinking to myself "this could be heaven or this could be hell" (sorry, once I started typing it, I couldn't stop.) Suddenly this really happy, perky, and fit (in both senses of the word) lady was on the screen, with two equally attributed ladies in the background - "Great", I thought, "Hell it is then..." - and then we actually got into it. I will admit, I must have looked like the Star Wars Kid. Still, there was something so...gratifying I guess...about being able to pull off the steps that the people on screen were performing, and having the lady praise me for it. Yes, I know she was a recording, and I know she'll say that even if I mess up majorly, but there's some part of my brain that just...it feels nice ^_^

Anyway, if you're looking for a form of exercise which doesn't force you to leave the house, which doesn't seem to make time drag on and on and on, and which is actually kind of enjoyable, then I would recommend Zumba to you. I seriously still cannot believe that I just said that, but there it is. I would, however, probably advise that you do it alone. If you're like me, then it's probably not something that you want other people to see you doing. Oh yeah, and wear loose fitting clothing (or just do it in your boxers - you're alone, who cares what you wear, as long as you're comfortable!)

The moral of this story is that, when I am fit and flexible, I will be able to really start getting into something that my friends and I have wanted to do for a while now (remembering that "a while" is a relative term.) At some point last year, Squiggles made the announcement that he wanted to learn how to do parkour or free-running (I'm still not sure which one he wants to do, actually) and he invited myself, Spud, and a couple of other people to form a club where we try and teach ourselves how to do it and such...It will either be really really cool, or someone (or multiple someones) will end up in traction...